Lions and Tigers and Bears…

It was 2:00am in the morning and our dog Millie was growling and barking like crazy!

I got the sharp kick from under the covers from my wife Francene along with a grunt. So I jumped into a phonebooth and put on my superhero costume and stumbled downstairs to see what was going on…  I looked at Millie who I had to restrain from bolting out the door and she was saying – danger, let me out there.  I turned on the outdoor light and looked outside – nothing. I stopped and listened… nothing.

I went back upstairs and went to bed. Millie eventually stopped barking.

The next day we found our trash can in the garage tipped over and the trash everywhere – a bag had been pulled out onto the driveway. Evidently a bear had gotten in through the doggie door we have that goes into the garage.

Like clockwork it was 2:00am the next night and Millie was barking like crazy again. And again I got the kick and the grunt, and again charged into the darkness of unknown. But this time I was prepared – I had a flashlight and a tennis racket.

“dude, there is a HUGE bear in your driveway!”

Then I got a text from my neighbor Rex: “dude, there is a HUGE bear in your driveway!”

Whoa!! I was awake. Heart pounding.

I slowly opened the door to scan the front porch – nothing. I walked silently onto the porch and surveyed the driveway – nothing. I was quiet, and heard muffled noises… I went back inside and listened on the other side of the door to the garage. More noises! The bear is in the garage!

I envisioned the bear 2 feet from the door and as soon as I cracked the door – the bear would charge me and be in my house and mayhem would ensue.  I had to see… I cracked the door slowly prepared to shut the door in an instant. I could hear heavy breathing and noises in the garage. I flipped on the light. We have two vehicles in the two car garage and the trash cans in the middle – I could not see the bear, I could only hear the bear. This was very scary.

I thought – okay what is it they tell you…? – NEVER EVER approach a bear that is eating, or a mother with cubs. Hmmm – this bear IS EATING my trash. I need to be careful. I need to get a photo of that bear! But if I go into the garage the door will shut behind me, the bear will see me as a threat, I will surely slip and fall somehow… then it will be all over for me… the bear will eat me!

My mind flashed to the headline – “Chris Kopf Killed By a Bear in His Garage” – “…he was in his boxers and still holding tightly the tennis racket, and his phone had one close-up photo of the bears teeth…”

Think. I had to think!

Ok – I slowly opened the door to the garage, flipped on the light, and hit the garage door opener buttons!  Then I yelled “AHHHHHH!!!” and the bear ran away…

I closed the garage doors, locked the doggie door, went back upstairs, puffed out my chest, and informed Francene that all was good. We were safe once again. All quiet on the western front. I battled the beast with my bare hands, but I let it go.  I took off my superhero costume and went back to bed.

It’s a jungle out there…

(stay tuned for the time Mr. Mountain Lion left a present at the top of my driveway…)

Wildlife in and around Mt. Crested Butte

How can I help you with your Crested Butte Real Estate Needs?

Chris Kopf